Yes, it has been a loooooong time. There have been many many things happen since my last blog - my wedding - and I'm trying to summarize in my head the last cpl years. This is where I set the warning - some themes may make you uncomfortable.
Begin rambling now ~ shortly after our wedding, I hurt my back at work. This left me unable to do normal things for almost 2 yrs (bit of a twinge still). My employer - Adesa car auctions, lied to WCB to save themselves $10k because they didnt report it to them right away. Actually, it was Kim LeGranduer and Jim Busby that lied, but the company itself backs them up. Disappointing after 7yrs of working for them. Terrible company! I do NOT recommend getting a job with Adesa Car Auctions. I know things....they had me forge initials and everything.
Somewhere along the way, many of my community members (these would also be relatives, go mennonite!) started rumors about my husband so that no one would hire him. I have recently found out the Malsburys have done their fair share of these rumors. Who knew the all loving Clark actually hates long haired freaky people? Church 'family' indeed. Both of these events left us without power for a good part of a year, living well below the means of the poverty line. Thank God we had a wood stove!
The problem is that people looked at my husband and literally said "We don't hire guys like you", and they shot themselves in the foot. He is smart, I mean really smart, strong, friendly, a hard worker, and respectful. But these small minded farmers he gave applications to, only saw his long hair. Poor poor Linden stuck in 1965....
Shortly after my back injury, I realized that we were going to be in trouble with our mortgage, so I contacted the Credit Union in Linden for some direction. Well, between Sharon Orme and Linda Wiebe, they managed to dodge answering my questions directly for almost a year, and insulted me many times in the process. About the time it was too late for any real help, they suggested the very thing I had originally asked about at the start, but had said they don't 'do' forbearance. Suddenly they did?
So we lost our house. Unfortunately, throughout this whole time, I found out who were really friends. Granted some people had no idea what was happening, and I didn't tell anymore. But there are those that decided our situation was too uncomfortable for them. They wouldn't address it, they would be mad at me for my depression, tell me that I was to blame for all of it, roll their eyes - yes I noticed when the eyes started rolling, even in print, and the rumors started getting worse. MANY people surprised me by their less than christian behavior. And many showed us true concern and love. Many of these would not be labeled christian, in fact, some of the most loving people through this time were atheists. I hold these people very dear in my heart. They will never know the hope they instilled in me. The smallest, kindest, genuine word makes all the difference. I could pick out the fake ones....
In the midst of this, one of my best friends died of cancer. She was finally happy and she died. The last couple of months before she passed, I stopped contacting her, she had stopped contacting me and I took it personally. This selfishness, I will always regret. How dare I be so self centered? I would get updates from my other friends, but never went to see her until they called and said it wouldn't be long. I walked into her hospital room and I didn't recognize her at all. She looked like a little old man, when once she was a robust healthy woman. I went to see her a few more times, and by the end she looked like she was getting better, but it was becasue she 'knew'. We had our moment together, where I said sorry and she forgave me, but I had already wasted too much time. And then one day she died. She died and I read it on her facebook page. I am still deeply hurt that I read one of my best friends died- on a social networking site. I still miss her. A lot.
Ok, so where was I? Oh right, no house, no job, no health, no where to go. Well, we had one place to go - Bota's family's cabin in Quebec. And since the reason we are not there is a whole other story...we are living in Montreal on the south shore and I LOVE it here. This is an amazing city! I miss my family greatly and get to see them at the end of the month due to some amazing relatives getting me a ticket...but this was good move. I see so much happiness and possibility for us from this point. I am painting again...LOTS and really finding my way back to me. Bota is graciously letting me do this while he goes out to battle the wild world that is the city. He will never know how grateful I am to him that he has done this.
I know most of this was bitter sounding and I am sure there will be some flack about the name dropping, but I have grown weary of the way people treat eachother. I heard many 'jokes' about 'moving to another country' when we came to montreal, but that was the point. The small mindedness we had grown so angry about is long behind us. We are in a place where weird little Melanie Toews is still unique, but I'm not weird anymore. There is freedom in knowing people aren't staring at me, whispering things they think I will never find out. Bota is no longer that guy that "ruined Melanie's life". He's Bota, loving husband, provider, writer....<3 The guy that many people refused to see. I am sad for them, he is one amazing individual!
And through out this grande adventure, my husband has been steady by my side. He helped me to the bathroom when I couldn't walk, he gathered snow and heated it on the stove to make me baths, always found food and a way out of whatever Murphy had bestowed upon our heads. He held me when my friend died, when my cats died, when I was hurt by those closest to me. He has made me whole, loved me without question, held a mirror up to me, burried my cat twice....don't ask.
It has been a rocky 2 years since we exchanged our wedding vows, earthquake-like you might say, but we have each other, and I can't imagine a single moment of my life without him, without his love. Thank you God for my Bota <3
