I Smell Like Paint

I guess I haven't been here in awhile. I've been painting, living, breathing, thinking painting. Oh except for my dream of dating Johnny Depp last night! Thank goodness it wasn't cars for once (occupational hazard) But I can say I won my first money ever for my work. The local Fall Fair had a category for oil painting and I won first place which was $3. But still, I got a red ribbon.

I feel like I've become Melanie Joy Toews. The fullness I receive from sitting and applying colors to something in a way that no one has ever done and no one will ever do from their own imagination and talent, WOW. For a poet I'm speechless.

You know how you act a certain way or dress, etc. and you know you're only doing it because that's who you want people to perceive you to be? Painting strips me of that and I am a painter. I'm not trying to impress anyone or say 'Hey look at me, I paint!' and then go home and don't paint. I paint and therefore I paint. It's so beautiful and so simple that it makes me laugh. I have never been so comfortable in my own skin, I've probably said that before, but as most of you know, many of us take a long time to get there and some don't even make it.

I put a brush in my hand and start playing and I feel beautiful.

Beauty and Full.